How To Save $100k On Business School Tuition

Last week, I was pleased to begin a public speaking course (of sorts) with MBA students from the Marshall School of Business at USC. My curriculum would not be unusual at all were it not for the fact that I am not, nor have I ever, been an enrolled student at the Marshall School of Business.

I receive a lot of strange looks, as well as the oft-asked question, "Are you a first year?" My joke is, "Hey guys! I'm getting all of the networking without paying any of the tuition!" That one goes over really well, let me tell you.

Four times a month, we meet in an elaborate circular classroom that evokes the notorious Star Chamber of British criminal justice history. It's a room more suited to the wearing of robes and powdered wigs than khakis and loafers. The atmosphere is quite casual, and many people bring lunch into the room; the b-school kids are a genial crowd, if a bit vague about their actual career aspirations (beyond making a lot of money).

We go around the room and volunteer to deliver a spontaneous two-minute speech on a topic drawn from a hat. The room appoints four judges. The first two judges are the official timer and the grammarian. Then there's an "um, like, you know" counter, whose job is to count your verbal time-fillers. And finally, a judge known as "the posture police", whose task is to critique your physical mannerisms.

I've only been to two sessions, and I have not volunteered yet. Even in a relatively safe environment as a b-school classroom, the pressure of speaking before a crowd of relative strangers is palpable. But even as a mere spectator, I've already learned quite a bit about public speaking:

1) There is no such thing as speaking too slowly. No. Seriously. It's. Totally. True.

2) The actual content of your speech is completely insignificant. The smoothness of your delivery is everything. Even if you have absolutely nothing to say, if you are able to say it without awkwardness, you have won. Congratulations. You are now ready for a career in politics.

3) The ability to transition from one point to another is the layup of public speaking. You might also call this ability "improvisation". If you can master it, you've got public speaking licked.

4) The crowd wants you to succeed. They're willing to give you the benefit of the doubt a thousand times over, because they all know how hard it is. So relax.

5) Stop doing that annoying thing with your body already. It's a defense mechanism you're using to protect yourself from the crowd. See point #4. (And now we see the cross-disciplinary benefits of yoga, which trains one to confront all situations with a body balanced and at peace. It's all coming together.)

Fiscal Report: October 2006

As promised, here comes the red ink. Last month, I issued guidance that the era of large budget surpluses was coming to an end, and identified increased leisure spending as the would-be culprit. I was only half-correct.

I was utterly stumped by the depletion of my food budget this month, as I hadn't dined at any particularly fancy establishments. And then I realized that I spent the majority of October trying to fell my research stack, chopping away at the piles of books and dvds about lobsters and butterflies that sit on my desk. Due to my intense focus on research, I opted for take-out instead of cooking more often than not, and the expenses added up. Take-out, I've decided, is for chumps. It's much better to cook cheaply for yourself and occasionally splurge on the good restaurant, than to order mediocre take-out often. As my budget will attest, the two cost roughly the same.

But take-out did save me time, and as should become increasingly apparent over the next few months, the time constraints upon A Very Big If are only increasing in number. More on that in a bit.

Additionally, a large sum was spent on the Household Improvement Initiative, which I'm pleased to report, is a success. Although my apartment will never aspire to any status greater than Late 90's Dorm Room, the interior of my freezer compartment is immaculate, and no longer a exhibit of natural history.

UNDER BUDGET SPENDING CATEGORIES

Entertainment: 114.57
Dining Out: 5.51

Total: $120.08 under budget