The Rock Star of Astrology

Last weekend, I had a chance to attend a two-hour presentation by astrologer extraordinaire Susan Miller at the local Apple store.

I figured a few folks would show up to talk astrology with Ms. Miller.

What I did not expect was a store packed wall to wall with women jumping and yelling and pleading for Ms. Miller to do their charts, shouting out extremely technical questions regarding astrological minutiae (nodes, planets transiting houses, that sort of thing). Women of every age, ethnictiy and socioeconomic background, no less.

I know chicks love yoga. What I didn't know, apparently, was that chicks L-O-V-E astrology.

What was fascinating about this exercise was that none of these women had any hesitation in standing up in a room full of strangers, giving their actual date of birth, and then asking the most personal of questions regarding their love lives and careers.

(I was also continually awed by my repeated tendency to underestimate the age of a given woman by five, sometimes ten years. Then again, most of them were actresses. A belief in astrology is a prerequisite for the acting profession.)

One lady actually started crying during her reading, and Ms. Miller had to take a time out in order to give her a hug. And because the one lady was crying, you KNOW the other ladies had to start crying too.

It was all very Oprah.

As for myself, Ms. Miller informs me that someone with my birth data (Leo sun, Sagittarius ascendant) should anticipate once-in-a-lifetime events in both personal and professional spheres to commence posthaste. This, of course, is news I have received before. Internal consistency among the league of supernatural middle-aged ladies is definitely a good thing.

I came away from the presentation not entirely convinced by Ms. Miller. She is a very enthusiastic and engaging personality, but I found her prognostications a bit vague for my taste. I am perhaps a bit spoiled by a tarot reader who will gladly open the closet of my current infatuation and pull the skeletons out one by one. (Just ask Stefanie - she's heard the tape - AND IT MADE HER CRY.)

The thing that most unsettled me about Ms. Miller's presentation, however, was not the astrologer herself but her fans. The central question of astrology, at least for these aficionados, is: "When will this event happen to me?" Which is entirely different than the central question of any conversation I have with Judy the tarot reader. That question being, "How can I best cause this event to happen?"

Two fundamentally different questions, implying two fundamentally different views of the universe.

I know which one I like.