My Biggest Worries Ranked By Importance

Here are my biggest concerns at the present moment:

1) Finishing my screenplay, Lobsters vs. Butterflies
2) Stuff I shouldn't be blogging about.
3) Strategizing against my would-be overlords at the movie studio.
4) Will Naruto be able to rescue Sasuke from the clutches of Orochimaru?
5) Putting the finishing touches on my workout mixtape.
6) Should I return that jacket? Will I ever find a jacket that fits?
7) Making a good Croque Monsieur.
8) Figuring out my yoga schedule.

...

21) Update my blog?

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37) The fact that I am slowly but surely spending every last dollar I have.

First of all, I'm a college freshman again. Second of all, about that number thirty-seven.

At my current rate of spending, assuming I earn no income (which granted, may not be a good assumption), I will be completely broke as of May 1.

And that's very good news.

I was originally supposed to run out of money in November - that is, sometime last week. But I have two screenplays that are rather close to being ready for the next phase of Operation: Hollywood Takeover, tentatively scheduled for early 2008.

So a number of parties (including, but not limited to, my parents) have stepped forward to provide some measure of assistance. And I've undertaken some truly drastic measures to buy myself just a little more time.

All of this should provide for no small amount of vicarious pleasure for readers of this blog, some of whom are the sort who live very certain and stable lives, and make regular contributions to their retirement accounts. These folks tend to project their financial anxieties upon me, as I represent the living incarnation of their worst fiscal nightmare.

What can I tell you? If you want to make dreams come true, this is the cost of doing business.

I am much more concerned about #1 than #37. But I know that writing about #37 is going to make for some very exciting blogging, whereas #1 doesn't.

I do not wish to worry any of my readers, especially my parents, by making it sound like I am having a miserable time going broke. In fact, the opposite is true: I'm having the TIME OF MY LIFE going broke.

And I also don't want to ruin the ending here. But if you think this little adventure is going to conclude like anything other than an Ocean's Eleven movie, complete with a horn section erupting into crescendo, sunglasses being adjusted for proper fit, and a lot of high fives, you're probably reading the wrong blog.

What I am saying is: don't worry.

However, we are definitely moving into the scary part. And I, as a writer, am duty-bound to milk the tension and drama of this act for all it's worth.

Download: All Sewn Up - David Holmes (from the Ocean's Thirteen Original Soundtrack)