What I Did Over Winter Break

1) Walking the dogs in the woods near my parents' home. It's always a lot of fun to see the dogs freak out when I grab the leashes: "OMFG! We're going outside!"

2) Gambling at the Indian casino in Oklahoma. Previously, I wrote that the Windstar Casino was so low-rent that there was no free alcohol on hand - only a self-serve soft drink dispenser. Well, the Chocktaw casino has Windstar beat; they don't even have the soft drinks - they just have jugs of summer camp bug juice, with a stack of styrofoam cups next to it.

The interesting thing is that after a full day of gambling at an Indian casino, we still wanted more action, and ended up playing dominos with a $5 buy-in per round. I would have made out like a bandit, had my brother's ex-girlfriend not showed up and stole my pot from under me.

3) Hitting the outlet mall in Allen, TX and buying absolutely nothing.

4) Playing video games. For the past two years, I've been playing Final Fantasy Tactics every time I come home. I am now approximately two-thirds of the way through the strategy role-playing epic. Unfortunately, this year I put FFT on hiatus: Jonathan brought the Xbox 360 home from college, so I immediately hit up Blockbuster and came home with The Orange Box and Call of Duty 4. Good times.

5) Eating at Braum's multiple times. The burgers are decent. But it's really all about the crinkle cut fries, which remind me of the fries in my school cafeteria. Also, the shakes are made with real ice cream, and good ice cream, to boot.

6) Catching up with high school classmates. I finally was able to meet the two young offspring of my friend David and his wife. He was driving through Dallas on his way to Houston, and asked me to meet him at a Chick-fil-A. I thought this was an unusual venue, until I arrived and found that the restaurant had a glass-enclosed playground. "So this is why," I said. "Yup," said David, turning his children loose.

I was talking to David about yoga (of course), and his 5-year-old daughter immediately butted in and said, "I do yoga!" "Really," I said. "What's your favorite pose?" She spread her arms and legs out, and said, "Warrior 2!" "Mine, too!" I said.

I brought a giant box of Jelly Belly as gift, and at the end of our visit, David told his daughter, "If you go to the bathroom and clean up, I'll give you three jelly beans." "More," she said. "Okay, four." "Five!" "Okay, five." I turned to David and said, "Dude, is your daughter signing clients? 'Cause I think I found MY NEW AGENT."

7) Conducting sting operations. I bought a gift certificate from the Levi's store to give someone as a gift, and promptly dropped it on the floor of a busy mall, whereupon it was immediately snatched up. So I went back to the store, and asked if they could void it. After a week of back-and-forth, they did it, but told me it would take another week to get a refund. During that time, I was informed by a helpful employee, someone showed up with my gift certificate and tried to spend it. "DID YOU HANDCUFF THEM?!" I asked. The employee laughed. She told me that the person had received the item as a gift, and was severely non-plussed at being informed that it was voided. Plenty of embarrassment to go around for both the "gift giver" and the recipient. So folks, the lesson here is: when you find an unredeemed gift certficate on the ground - SPEND IT IMMEDIATELY.

8) Christmas mass. Even though I have a letter from the pope informing me of my excommunication (or so I tell my mom), I generally try to hit up mass when I'm home for the holidays. My childhood church is now a festering pit of pushy white bread soccer moms, so we attended a new church that was much nicer.